The U-Turn Light. - Arleen An

If you've ever headed down mcphillips towards Topo Gigio,
You know what I'm talking about.

Coming soon: confusion corner Yield to the right and do a loopity loop if you wanna turn left blinking traffic light.

Mascara-smear horror (aka: outdoor-to-indoor transition eyelash thaw)

It makes you look and feel oogly and scary after all of the care taken to look beautiful and sweet... Eyelashes icicled over by the condensation of your own morning breath melt as you make the outdoor-to-indoor transition at school or work.

Mascara-smear is common to every seemingly respectable woman as they strike up a conversation with other respectable people around them. Their confidence of a beautiful appearance identifies their obliviousness to looking like a psychotic, snot-faced, horror-flick-scream-princess.

To tell or not to tell? That is the question. I recommend that during a daytime encounter, the answer is 'probably'. We certainly don't need to be trying to talk to that with a straight face all day. This person should be held accountable to look after their creep-eyes and make themselves presentable. They should make a point to stop in the bathroom and clean that mess up off of their frozen cheeks. In one fell swoop, gone is all of the good concealer/blush/bronzer that underlays the smear.

An experienced mascara wearer will use the lash tip dab-dry method during the melting process before the face-smear issue even arises. Or, better yet, avoid mascara application altogether until arrival at their destination.

As for evening occurrences of this unfortunate situation - all is fair game, so to each their own. If some chick didn't think of this before she went out and happens to be sporting the appearance of the '2 a.m. Drunk Chick' - yet it's only 7 p.m., too bad for her.

Good luck Ladies.
k.

The Jaw-Jacket Avoidance Technique.

 

For anyone who spent their childhood walking to school, you are a pro at this. Even for drive-everywhere people, this is the set up for the warm up routine you do when you jump in your car (someone else draw that diagram). It’s up there with scarf-condensation-avoidance but I like this one the best because it’s so subtle yet (I believe) widely engaged – like when everyone started talking about the other side of the pillow.

If you are an appropriately dressed winter person, you’ll only really do this when you run out for something real quick, or lose/forget your scarf/neckwarmer/balaclava at home that day; for most of us Winnipegers though, this is a multiple-times-a-day thing. We think it’s a sign of hardness and defiance to dress inappropriately. “Cold is cold” we say “what I wear in October will just adjust somehow”. Obviously the inappropriate dress thing hits its height in teenage years but that stuff lingers, man. We hold on. And techniques like this allow for that.

The trick is to keep as much of your face out of harm’s way as possible while avoiding the parts of your outdoor ensemble that freeze up on you – like your zipper. I know some of you are saying “yeah but MY jacket has a guard so I don’t touch the zipper”. Good for you I guess, then all you have to deal with is the awful jacket material that makes a rashy irritated mess of the tip of your nose and your chin. Either way, you’re back at square one with the jaw-jacket avoidance, making it an essential learned skill for Winnipeg winters.

There’s some variations to the pursed lips too. Like you can do some hot-breaths in there, but you still have to move your jaw back. And then you get into condensation-avoidance/ rashy territory. So… just be careful okay?

xo e.

Y'all know what we're talking about

What's happening here
Making good on promises to ex-Peggers and Peggers-in-Residence, Esther and I have a social obligation to fulfill with the "Winnipeg's MOST Winnipeg" blog. I'm getting this going for all y'all to add on to - so give us what you got.

Where this came from
Originally concocted when Esther walked into the office after a cold winter morning walk to work in the dark at 8 a.m., it was unanimously decided that there are a serious number of idiosyncrasies particular to, or identifiable with, our great city that deserved documentation. The PC crew spouted off a few and then Esther looked to her FB buddies for feedback - a few more spilled to the fore. I promised drawings for each...lost to the void of empty promises. Now, with the heat on from Cass, it seems that this has got to get did!!!

What we need from you
Send an email (see the Get at us page) including your most winnipeg thing along with some visual representation of it.... a sketch, sculpture, photograph, youtube of an interpretive dance? no matter how terrible an artist you might be, or how terribly you fail with ms paint, give it a shot - if you just can't hack the visual part, hand it over to us and we'll find someone else to fill in that half.


Love & XO,
K & E